I wana escape. fly to somewhere where I will be uncontactable, for a while.

maybe i just need my personal space.

maybe it's called blind faith



is it worth the "jump"?

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sometimes even ur close friends dun understand you. it's not really the number of years you have known each other, definitely. im thankful I have a few good ones.

i hate to judge but sometimes i do.
i dun share with everyone my opinions cos i dun think they will ever listen anw.
most are just touch-and-go friends. are they genuinely concerned? NAH. i really doubt so.

In life, you dont have to be accountable to anyone. except for those with a close relationship with God, then maybe you are accountable to Him.
But for me, i guess im not accountable to anyone.

humans are complex creatures. they like to be secretive yet constantly seek for attention. When they dont get the attention they want, they do all kinds of weird things/say all kind of stuff (sometimes hurting) to you. And maybe the bottom line is to tell you, "hey you mean alot to me. can you dedicate more time/attention to me?" Why cant pple be more direct and STOP playing mind games. this is prob a sign that ur friend/bf/gf feels neglected. maybe? then, there's another group with a huge ego/pride. strong opinions. think that they are always right. say what they wana say. it's good to be str forward, in my opinion. But, if you are saying it, just to fill your pride. Then, maybe i think i will be hurt.

haha. but if u noe me well enough. i will just keep quiet. maybe im hurt, but i will just.. keep quiet. bcos i noe if i voice it out, you will prob say more to fill that big fat ego/pride of yours that will nv be complete/full.

it wasn't easy, but I think I did it

haven blogged for a real long time. the last time blogged was before sem1 examinations.
it was about courage. the courage to face what I should have faced many years ago. I'm glad I did it.
all the while, I knew it was a dead end, but I just refused to accept it.
and now, with all the blockings on fb, msn and Skype.
I kinda understand why.
I am not blind anymore. I am able to analyze matters the way I usually do.
thank you for your hostility.
I wouldn't say it was easy. pillows were drenched with tears.
thank you for your concern. for worrying that I would do stupid things.
I did not.

it's 2011 nw. and in 2010, I saw alot. and of cos, learnt alot.
I'm not just referring to academic stuff. yes, of cos, they include those.
events that stretched my limits, my patience, and made me realize stuff.
I learnt to slow down, handle and sometimes appreciate.
thank God for an awesome 2010. it wasn't perfect, it wasn't easy at all.
but thank you.

and now 2011. I believe that there are some things that will never change.
when every one gets busy, they tend to neglect you.
the world is made up of empty promises.
but dun cry. no I'm not gona say "you are not alone".
in fact, I'm gona say, yes you are alone.
be strong. pple move on, so you should too.
be independent. one day, you will find someone you can depend on.

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thank you for the awesome Xmas eve, 26th, 29th and new year eve.
:)im not perfect, but i keep trying. cos that's what i said i would do right from the start.

xmas 2010 was simple but better than the previous years. OKAY, at least better than the 2006 one. 2006 one was terrible. drunk at ecp. no joke. emo-fied.
Received many gifts from friends and loved ones.
I had a xmas tree (a bush maybe?) in the living room. the second time my fam had gift exchange.
Really not the gifts that matters. Honestly, more than half the stuff i received were things that i wouldnt use/need. But i appreciate all. cos, it's the effort that everyone made to make this "family" work out. I would be happy even if my younger bro gives me a notebook (that's a free gift from an item he purchased from ntuc). anw fyi, he did that, for my bday. -___-









Egggciting meetups in dec:

1) Suki-ya with siau siau and ssy ssy. buffet.
xmas exchange was somewhat eggciting. cos all of us werent confident of our gifts.
we were all worried whether the other parties would like them
HAHA. thank God it was all good. =) we had good laughs.
esp the "can i have my envelope back" from ssy ssy.
"i bought xiaoxyn for you cos of the o mouth" from siau siau.
Thankew.

and we played monopoly deal at west coast macs till "early morning". the hk version. LOL. i still vaguely rem that one property was called "saikung" or something. i think thats funny. is tt really a place?









2) Drinking session with mai mai, hl, zhenwei and zw's friend- desmond.
we were supp to go timbre (substation). But it was closed!
so we went chijmes, harry's bar.

here's a group photo at harry's bar.



shall we have more of such? =)

3) had Korean food with Liwen and Alicia on 28th.
at central. Clarke quay.
3 out of 5 stars.





Family trip (holiday?)
OH and i almost forgt to update that i went genting, malacca and muar after exams. 4D3N.
hmm. genting was pretty boring. except for casino, endless dimsum and movies, there were practically NOTHING.

here's a pic of my bro. isnt he cute?
He may look like a big monster to you, cos he's big (like BIGGGG) thou he's only gg pri 5 next year. WHATEVER, he will always be a baby to me.
=) <3





universal studios singapore
on 11 dec, i went USS- universal studios singapore! for more info, refer to my fb!!
here's some pics we took!=)















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you can come, running back to me. but nthin's gona chnage the things that you said. nthin's gona mke this right again